Anger or Fear counselling
Redlands Counselling Service
Susan Jeffers in her book ' Feel the fear and do it anyway' talks about FEAR.
First, it is important to understand that everyone is afraid, and it is normal. Second, acknowledging fear makes you feel more relaxed. Fear can be broken down into 3 levels.
The 1st one is the surface story. It can be subdivided into those that “happen” and those that require action. Following is a list of this type.
Level 1 Fears: Some examples Those that “Happen”
Aging , Becoming disabled, Retirement, Being alone, Children leaving home, Natural disasters, Loss of financial security ,Change , Dying , War , Illness , Losing a loved one , Accidents , Rape
Level 2 fears: Those requiring action:
Going back to school(learning new things) , Making decisions , Changing career , Making friends , Ending or beginning a relationship, Going to a doctor , Asserting oneself , Losing weight , Being interviewed , Driving, Public speaking, Making a mistake, Intimacy.
Level 2 fears also involve the ego. These have to do with inner state of mind rather than external situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. Such as: Rejection, Being conned, Success, Helplessness, Failure, Disapproval, Being vulnerable, Loss of image
Level 3 fear: Regarding ability how to handle things. If you knew how to handle anything that came your way, then there won’t be any fear. All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way. At the moment, we have very less trust in our own or our loved one’s abilities. We are overprotective. Rather than finding out why you don’t have trust, just say “Whatever happens to me, given any situation, I can handle it” - Susan Jeffer's Book, 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.
One of my main models used at Redlands Counselling Service is to support you with anxiety, anger, fear or depression is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a rich, full and meaningful life. ACT (which is pronounced as the word 'act', not as the initials) does this by:
a) Teaching you psychological skills to deal with your painful thoughts and feelings effectively - in such a way that they have much less impact and influence over you (these are known as mindfulness skills).
b) Helping you to clarify what is truly important and meaningful to you - i.e your values - then use that knowledge to guide, inspire and motivate you to change your life for the better.
The ACT View Of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a "hot topic" in Western psychology right now - increasingly recognised as a powerful therapeutic intervention for everything from work stress to depression - and also as an effective tool for increasing emotional intelligence. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is a powerful mindfulness-based therapy
Mindfulness is a mental state of awareness, focus and openness - which allows you to engage fully in what you are doing at any moment. In a state of mindfulness, difficult thoughts and feelings have much less impact and influence over you - so it is hugely useful for everything from full-blown psychiatric illness to enhancing athletic or business performance. In many models of coaching and therapy, mindfulness is taught primarily via meditation. However, in ACT, meditation is seen as only one way amongst hundreds of learning these skills - and this is a good thing, because most people do not like meditating! ACT gives you a vast range of tools to learn mindfulness skills - many of which require only a few minutes to master.
ACT breaks mindfulness skills down into 3 categories:
1) defusion: distancing from, and letting go of, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories
2) acceptance: making room for painful feelings, urges and sensations, and allowing them to come and go without a struggle
3) contact with the present moment: engaging fully with your here-and-now experience, with an attitude of openness and curiosity
PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY & THE SIX CORE PROCESSES OF ACT
Redlands counselling Service depression, fear or anger