Masters Not Disasters: A Relationship Workbook for Couples Who Want More

Every relationship has moments that feel like a disaster — the same fight on repeat, the slow drift into disconnection, the sense that you're speaking two different languages. What separates the couples who come back from those moments from the ones who don't isn't luck. Research-backed psychologist John Gottman spent decades studying exactly this, and gave the two groups a name: Masters and Disasters.
This workbook is built to help you become the former.
Masters, Not Disasters is a comprehensive, self-paced relationship workbook designed for couples — and individuals — who want a real, practical path toward a stronger connection. It's not a book you read once and shelve. It's a working companion: over 100 pages of psychoeducation, real assessments, and guided reflection you can return to again and again, whether you're navigating a rough patch or simply want to keep building on what's already good.
Grounded in real research, not guesswork
Every tool in this workbook is drawn from established, evidence-based approaches — including the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), attachment theory, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and more. Nothing here is generic advice; it's the same frameworks used in professional couples counselling, translated into a format you can work through at your own pace, on your own time.
What's inside:
A full Relationship Check-In — a research-informed assessment across 9 key areas, with a simple scoring guide so you know exactly where to focus first
A validated attachment style questionnaire (the ECR-R) to help you understand your own patterns of closeness and connection
Individual and couple goal-setting, so the work is personal, not just theoretical
The Four Horsemen and their antidotes — Gottman's research on what predicts relationship breakdown, and exactly how to turn it around
Tools for de-escalation, self-regulation, and co-regulation — including a "circuit breaker" technique for conflict that's about to go too far
A full Forgiveness & Overcoming Resentment section, using the REACH forgiveness model
A Sexual Satisfaction Inventory and guided Sensate Focus exercises for rebuilding physical intimacy
Real-world sections most relationship books skip: money scripts and financial conflict, mental load and household fairness, blended family dynamics, digital boundaries, and life transitions
A Self-Care & Personal Capacity section — because you can't pour from an empty cup
A full glossary and reference list, so every concept is explained and every claim is sourced
Who it's for
This workbook is designed to be worked through together as a couple — but it's just as valuable completed individually, whether you're preparing for a hard conversation, processing something your partner isn't ready to look at yet, or simply investing in your own growth.
A note on safety
This workbook is built for relationships where both people feel fundamentally safe. It includes a clear, upfront guide to help you recognise when a relationship needs specialised support instead — because the right help matters more than any workbook.
Created by Matt Vincent, Clinical Supervisor and Founder of Redlands Counselling Service, drawing on two decades of clinical experience.
Instant digital download. Work through it at your own pace, individually or together.