Navigating Values & Action: A Comprehensive Guide Workbook for Therapists and Clients

Pre-Marital Counseling & Relationship Preparation

What’s Inside: The Comprehensive Premarital Foundations Workbook

A practical, evidence-based 21-page guide for couples who want to build a resilient, value-centered marriage—not just prepare for a wedding day.

This workbook blends 20 years of clinical experience with leading relational frameworks (Gottman Method, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, and Bowen Family Systems Theory). It moves beyond surface-level advice into structured psychoeducation, private individual reflection, and collaborative couple exercises.

 How it’s structured

• Private Partner A / Partner B reflections first — so each person can answer honestly without influence.

• Collaborative exercises that turn insights into shared agreements, protocols, and written covenants.

• Pacing guidance (1–2 modules per week) plus clear advice on handling sticky points.

​

 The 12 Core Modules

  1. Blueprints, Attachment Styles & Family of Origin

   Map your attachment dance, generational patterns, vulnerability rules, and repair blueprints. Understand the pursuit–withdrawal cycle and how your nervous systems interact under stress.

  2. Core Values, Acceptance & Shared Meaning

   Rank personal values, protect individual dreams, and draft a joint Marital Mission Covenant grounded in ACT and Gottman’s Shared Meaning level of the Sound Relationship House.

​

  3. Love Maps, Bids for Connection & Emotional Attunement
   Expand your knowledge of each other’s inner world and master the mechanics of turning toward (instead of away or against) bids for connection.

​

  4. De-escalation, Co-Regulation & Managing Conflict
   Distinguish perpetual vs. solvable problems, learn the Four Horsemen and their antidotes, and create a concrete time-out + co-regulation       protocol using Polyvagal principles.

​

  5. Financial Integration, Money Mindsets & Account Systems
   Explore the emotional meaning of money, achieve full debt transparency, and choose a practical account structure (including the Barefoot Investor bucket system) with clear spending thresholds and monthly Money Date Nights.

​

  6. Physical Intimacy, Sexual Health & Romance
   Work with the Dual Control Model (accelerators vs. brakes), responsive vs. spontaneous desire, mismatched desire protocols, non-sexual touch, and date-night commitments.

​

  7. Division of Labor, Mental Load & Domestic Equity

   Move beyond “just tell me what to do.” Assign full CPE ownership (Conception–Planning–Execution) across household domains and set explicit Minimum Standards of Care, plus a work-to-home re-entry ritual.

​

  8. In-Laws, Extended Systems & Boundaries
   Establish marital primacy and joint boundary rules for unannounced visits, unsolicited advice, holidays, and privacy.

​

  9. Family Planning, Parenting Alignments & Caregiving
   Align on desires for children, fertility contingencies, core parenting values, discipline styles, and future eldercare expectations.

​

  10. Digital Boundaries, Social Media & External Influences
    Create clear rules around device-free zones, transparency, social-media interactions with exes or attractive peers, and public posting.

​

  11. Health, Well-being, Crisis Preparedness & Legacy
    Define preferred support styles during distress, medical and legal directives, and the relational legacy you want to leave.

​

  12. The Annual Marital Audit & Long-Term Resilience
    A ready-to-use yearly anniversary check-in covering appreciation, conflict repair, finances, intimacy, fun, and values realignment.

​

 Plus
- Clear clinical frameworks explained in plain language  
- Fillable tables, written covenants, and protocol templates  
- Closing encouragement and next-step pathways for ongoing support through Redlands Counselling Service

​

This is not a light checklist. It is a structured clinical-and-experiential roadmap designed to help couples build psychological flexibility, emotional safety, and practical systems that last decades.