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Is It Time for a Relationship Check-Up? Knowing When to Seek Counselling

We all hit bumps in the road of love. Sometimes, those bumps feel more like mountains, leaving us feeling lost and unsure of which path to take. If you're questioning the health of your relationship, you might be wondering, "When is the right time to get relationship counselling?"

The truth is, there's no magic formula or one-size-fits-all answer. Every relationship is unique, and so are the challenges couples face. But just like we go for regular health check-ups, sometimes our relationships need a little TLC from a professional.

Here are a few signs that it might be time to consider relationship counselling:

  • Communication breakdowns are the norm: Remember those easy, flowing conversations you used to have? If they've been replaced by constant arguments or icy silence, it's a red flag.

  • You're living parallel lives: Do you feel like roommates rather than romantic partners? A lack of intimacy, both emotional and physical, can signal a deeper disconnect.

  • You're constantly walking on eggshells: Do you find yourself censoring your thoughts and feelings out of fear of your partner's reaction? A healthy relationship thrives on open and honest communication.

  • Resentment is building: Holding onto past hurts and disappointments will only poison your relationship over time.

  • You've tried to fix things, but nothing seems to work: It's admirable to try and work through issues on your own. But if you're stuck in a cycle of arguments and misunderstandings, a therapist can offer a fresh perspective and new tools.

Seeking professional help isn't a sign of weakness – it shows you're committed to strengthening your bond and investing in the future of your relationship. Think of it like this: you wouldn't hesitate to see a doctor if you had a persistent cough or a broken leg. Relationship counselling is no different – it's about seeking expert guidance to address the areas causing you pain and preventing further damage.


1. When should you do relationship counselling?

Several signs indicate that you and your partner could benefit from professional guidance. These include:

  • Escalating conflict and negative communication patterns.

  • Emotional distance and a feeling of loneliness within the relationship.

  • Loss of trust or betrayal.

  • Difficulty navigating major life transitions together (e.g., moving, career changes, having children).

2. How early in a relationship should I go to couples therapy?

There's no "too early" when it comes to seeking support. Many couples find that starting therapy early in their relationship, even during the dating phase, can help establish a strong foundation for healthy communication and conflict resolution.

3. When should I start individual counselling?

If you're struggling with personal challenges that are impacting your relationship, individual counselling can be incredibly beneficial. It can equip you with coping mechanisms, self-awareness, and a stronger sense of self, ultimately allowing you to show up as your best self in your relationship.

4. How successful is relationship counselling?

Research shows that couples therapy has a high success rate, with a significant percentage of couples reporting improvements in their communication, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction after completing therapy. It's important to remember that success looks different for every couple, and the journey is a collaborative one.

5. Do we need couples therapy or should we break up?

This is a tough question, and ultimately, the decision to stay together or part ways rests with you and your partner. Relationship counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings, understand the root causes of your challenges, and make informed decisions about the future of your relationship.

If you think your relationship could benefit from counselling. Book in for relationship counselling with Matt at Redlands Counselling Service.

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