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Grief is Love: Honouring the Bond and Finding Healing

In this article we discuss the famous quote by Jamie Anderson, “Grief is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

Is grief really just love with no place to go?

This article will explore the nature of grief, supporting you if you are processing grief or know someone who is. You will also find simple suggestions to help you move through your healing journey.

Grief is Just Love With No Place To Go

To explore the nature of grief it can help to think of grief as love with no place to go. After all, grief comes from a place of love. If we didn’t love the person or thing that was lost then we wouldn’t grieve. Grief heals as you can gradually express the love that you cannot.

The question that comes is, why would we not be able to express the love we have? How can love have no place to go?

There are various reasons why we cannot express the love we have during the stages of grief. These reasons may come from a lack of acceptance, an inability to forgive, or due to underlying hurt and shame.

When faced with an overwhelming situation such as grief, there are many emotions to be processed. Nevertheless, acceptance is a key component of our ability to love. The difficulty accepting the situation and your emotions are what hinder your ability to love. It is best to compassionately face your emotions and remind yourself that will be able to express all the love within yourself in time.

It is also necessary to heal any hurt, resentment, or shame that may be blocking your ability to love. You are entitled to feel the way you feel. If you are struggling with this pain, book in and speak to Matt at Redlands Counselling Service for grief counselling. Also, try to give yourself acceptance and realise that underneath your emotions is also love. Remember, acceptance is the key to love, and being able to love is the key to healing your grief.

Honouring the Bond

Another important aspect is to find ways to express love even though the object of your love has passed. Your love may have no place to go if you haven’t yet found new and healthy ways to express it.

This is also true when it comes to grieving the loss of something important to us such as a home or dream job.

Find new and creative ways to show your love. This may be by sharing stories with others, praying, or writing a letter. Remember that the time it takes each person to reach this stage will be different.

Tips For Finding Healing

Emotions can be messy, especially those of grief. You may have never felt these emotions before in your life, or at such an intensity.

The fact that grief is not commonly talked about makes it more difficult to process these emotions. It may also be difficult for those around you to know how to support you.

Here are some tips to help you manage grief:

· Give yourself space where possible. Find ways to calm, and bring self-acceptance. Look after yourself and your basic needs the best way you can.

· Try not to hide from the world. Reach out to friends or family as a support system. Take people up on their offers of support, even if you don’t feel you need it.

· A counsellor may also be a vital part of your support system. If symptoms of grief are severely affecting your mental health, ensure that you seek professional support.

· Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions. It can be uncomfortable at first, but give yourself the gift of opening your heart again.

· You may like to use spirituality or other inspirational tools to comfort you.

· Finally, recognise that there may be a big life adjustment ahead and that it’s natural to be scared or overwhelmed. Take small steps where you can to adjust to the changes in your life.

Remember that grief comes in waves

At first the waves are large and all you can do is try to stay afloat, after time they will become smaller and less frequent and you will start to be able to orient yourself.

Even after the waters have calmed there may still be a wave that knocks you over and that’s okay. Over time you will become more prepared for the waves, and they will become smaller. You may be able to appreciate the waves as little reminders to give your love to the one you lost. Remember, under stress we all regress!

Are you in need of support?

You may at times need a lifeguard or someone to help you ride the waves of grief. At Redlands Counselling Service we are here you help you during your difficult times. We offer compassionate and supportive personal counselling for you and your family.

Contact us for a no-obligation heart-to-heart at 1300 241 667 or email

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