top of page
Dr Elissa O'Malley

My Wife is Yelling at Me: 7 Strategies for Coping

Are you tired of dealing with yelling or screaming from your wife with no idea how to get her to stop?

For many men, being yelled at by their wives can be a difficult and confusing experience. It can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship, and may even lead to feelings of anger or resentment.

However difficult this is, it's important to recognise that there are often underlying reasons behind the yelling. Perhaps your wife is dealing with stress or anxiety, or maybe there are deeper issues at play. Whatever the case may be, it is possible to learn how to cope with the situation in a healthy and caring way.

In this article, we'll explore some strategies for dealing with a wife who yells and offer some insights into the underlying causes of the behaviour.





Understanding Why My Wife Yells at Me


It’s important to gain context by understanding the possible reasons why your wife is yelling. Yelling is a common symptom of relationship breakdown. It is therefore important to recognise the underlying issues behind the breakdown. Understanding the underlying causes can help you to take a step back emotionally and see the issue from another perspective.


Some of the most common reasons for yelling include:

· She feels emotionally overwhelmed and unable to relax

· She feels unheard by you

· She feels unsupported within the relationship; unable to rely on or trust you.

· She is experiencing personal stresses such as financial difficulties, work pressure, or mental illness

·She may have never learned the right communication skills to voice her needs without yelling

·Past trauma may be triggered within her

·She may have lost respect for you

7 Tips to Stop Your Wife from Yelling at You


We get it, this is probably something you wish would just go away. You may have even stopped spending time at home to avoid the yelling. Unfortunately, avoiding the situation will not help, it’s not that simple.

Dealing with this situation healthily will require compassion and empathy on your behalf. Yet, restoring the happiness and connection within your relationship will be worth the effort.

Here are some tips to stop your wife from yelling at you.


Tip 1

Understand why she is angry. Take a moment to consider which of the reasons above are contributing to her yelling behaviour. Then open up a conversation about it when she is in a good mood. Let her know that you want to understand why she is angry.

Tip 2

Make more of an effort to listen to her and paraphrase what you heard back to her. This will help your wife to feel heard and will help her to calm down. As difficult as it may be to listen to her when she is complaining or yelling, ignoring her or yelling back will only make matters worse.

Tip 3

Apologise if you have done something wrong. Try not to become defensive in the face of criticism. Rather, be willing to admit when you have made a mistake. Your wife will respect it when you show responsibility for your actions.

Tip 4

Reassure her that you want to listen to her but can only do so if she stops yelling. Invite her to talk to you calmly so that you can listen to her. Doing this may require creating space between the two of you when things get heated. Remember to come back together later to talk about it calmly.

Tip 5

Help her to understand her triggers. Past bad experiences may be causing your wife to overreact in certain situations leading to her yelling. She may or may not be aware of this. If you feel your wife may be reacting from a place of past trauma you may like to read “How to deal with triggers from trauma”.

Tip 6

Your wife may be feeling overburdened, in this case show her that you’re willing to support her. You can find simple ways to ease her load. This includes, perhaps most importantly, reassuring her if she feels stressed and showing your appreciation.

Often what your wife needs most is not the actual thing that she is complaining about. What your wife needs most is to feel seen and heard by you, she needs your complete presence and your love.

Tip 7

Consider counselling to reconcile issues within your relationship and improve communication. It can be difficult to resolve any deeper issues behind your wife’s behaviour by yourselves. Relationship counselling can help you to listen actively to one another, express yourself clearly, and resolve conflicts constructively to build a stronger relationship.


Final Thoughts

These tips provide you with a healthy way to regain trust and respect within your relationship. These are two of the biggest keys to good communication and a strong relationship. Follow these tips and over time you will see a positive difference in your relationship.

Remember that it’s also important to take care of your own well-being. Make time for exercise and other healthy activities that put you in a good frame of mind. Reaffirm yourself and your self-worth.

If you would like to speak to someone confidentially, book an appointment with Matt.

Matt is a relationship specialist who is calm, compassionate, competent, and capable of helping you with relationship difficulties.

You may also like to reach out to Mensline Australia at 1300 789 978. They provide free 24/7 support for men and boys who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties.

61 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Commenting has been turned off.
bottom of page